My Coaching Reflection: Learning to Notice Energy Shifts

My reflections as a developing coach using Gibbs' Reflective Cycle

One of the things I am learning throughout my coaching journey is that a successful coaching conversation is not always about finding answers. Sometimes, it is about creating the space for someone to recognise what truly matters to them. Recently, I facilitated a coaching session that reminded me of the importance of being present, listening beyond the words and recognising changes in a coachee's energy.

Using Gibbs' Reflective Cycle, I wanted to reflect on what went well, what challenged me and what I can take forward into my coaching practice.

1. Description: What happened?

The session focused on a coachee who was exploring uncertainty around their role and responsibilities within a team. Although they understood their day-to-day work, they were questioning how important it was to have clearly defined responsibilities and how this affected their confidence and sense of professional identity.

I initially used the GROW model to establish what the coachee wanted to achieve and explore their current situation.

As the conversation developed, I introduced Cognitive Behavioural Coaching (CBC) to explore the relationship between their thoughts, feelings and behaviours. This allowed us to examine how assumptions about others' perceptions, uncertainty around responsibilities and feelings of being undervalued might influence their confidence and willingness to take initiative.

What I found particularly interesting was how the conversation evolved from exploring the coachee's mindset towards recognising the importance of practical changes within their working environment.

2. Feelings: What was I thinking and feeling?

At the beginning, I felt comfortable and engaged. I was confident in using GROW to establish the session's direction and felt that we had created a safe space for reflection.

As I introduced CBC, I became more conscious of my questioning. There were moments when I felt the coachee appeared hesitant, particularly when I encouraged them to explore more positive ways of thinking. I found myself wondering whether I was asking the right questions or perhaps trying too hard to help them reach an alternative perspective.

I also noticed changes in the coachee's energy throughout the conversation. Initially, their responses were exploratory and sometimes uncertain. As we progressed, they began identifying opportunities within their role, although there was still some hesitation. Towards the end, I noticed what felt like a more significant shift: Their responses became clearer and more purposeful when discussing practical actions they could take. I felt encouraged by this change, but it also made me reflect on whether I had fully recognised and explored these shifts as they were happening.

3. Evaluation: What went well and what could have been better?

One of the strengths of the session was my ability to combine two coaching approaches while remaining responsive to the conversation.

(1) The GROW model provided the structure, helping us establish the goal, explore the current reality and move towards possible actions.

(2) CBC encouraged deeper self-awareness, particularly around how thoughts and assumptions could influence feelings and behaviours.

I also felt that active listening, summarising and gentle challenge helped the coachee explore their situation from different perspectives. An important moment came when they recognised that having clearer responsibilities mattered to them personally, rather than simply being about how others perceived their role.

At times, I felt my questions were too lengthy or complicated, and I needed to rephrase them. I also noticed that I occasionally offered interpretations or encouraged positive reframing before allowing the coachee enough space to explore their own thinking.

Looking back, I wonder whether I was sometimes more focused on progressing through the CBC exercise than noticing what was happening in the conversation itself.

4. Analysis: What did I learn?

My biggest learning from this session was around noticing energy shifts and understanding what they might be telling me as a coach. I observed three particular moments:

The first shift was from uncertainty to reflection. The coachee initially questioned whether greater role clarity was necessary, but as we explored their thoughts and feelings, they began recognising how this uncertainty could influence their confidence and behaviour.

The second shift was from hesitation to possibility. When exploring alternative perspectives, the coachee identified that having a flexible role could create opportunities for collaboration and professional development. However, I also noticed that positive reframing didn't necessarily resolve their underlying concerns.

The third shift was from reflection to action. This felt like the strongest change in energy, when we explored what was within their control, the coachee became more focused on practical possibilities, including prioritising work, creating clearer boundaries and discussing their responsibilities with their manager.

These observations reminded me that energy shifts are not always obvious or expressed through enthusiasm. They can appear through changes in language, pace, confidence or the ability to articulate a clearer direction. Nonetheless, I recognised that these were my interpretations of the coachee's energy.

Another important learning was that not every challenge can be addressed through changing someone's mindset. While CBC was valuable in exploring assumptions, the coachee was also experiencing genuine organisational challenges. This reminded me that effective coaching requires acknowledging external realities rather than assuming that a different perspective will resolve everything. For me, this reinforced the importance of using coaching models as frameworks rather than scripts.

5. Conclusion: What would I do differently?

Overall, I felt the session was productive and that the coachee developed greater clarity about what mattered to them, and identified practical actions to take forward. I was pleased that the conversation remained coachee-led and that the actions emerged from their own reflections rather than my suggestions.

I recognised that I still have opportunities to develop my coaching presence as I want to become more intentional with my questioning and more confident in exploring changes in energy without making assumptions. I also want to challenge myself to recognise when I might be trying to move the conversation towards an outcome, rather than allowing the coachee to determine where it needs to go.

6. Action Plan: How will I develop my practice?

I have identified key areas to focus on in future sessions:

• Notice and explore energy shifts: Pay closer attention to changes in tone, pace, language and engagement, and check my observations with the coachee;

• Improve my questioning: Practise asking shorter, clearer and more powerful questions, allowing sufficient time for reflection;

• Use coaching models flexibly: Continue developing my confidence with GROW, CBC and other approaches, while allowing the coachee's needs to guide the conversation;

• Strengthen my non-directive approach: Avoid steering the coachee towards positive thinking or a particular outcome;

• Develop my reflective practice: Continue reviewing my sessions to identify moments where my interventions supported or potentially limited deeper exploration.

  
  

Final Reflection: Listening beyond the words

This session reminded me that coaching is as much about how I show up as a coach as it is about the techniques I use. GROW helped me provide structure, while CBC offered an opportunity to explore deeper thinking patterns.

Some of the most valuable learning came from recognising the moments when the coachee's engagement appeared to change. I am beginning to appreciate that a shift in energy can be an invitation to explore something more deeply, rather than a signal to move on to the next question. As I continue developing as a coach, I want to become more attentive to these moments, more curious about what they mean for the coachee and more confident in allowing the conversation to unfold naturally.

Perhaps my biggest takeaway is that being an effective coach is not about having the perfect question or applying a model perfectly. It is about being present enough to recognise when something meaningful is happening, and giving the coachee the space to discover what that means for themselves.

Written by YS