Holding the space: Reflections on a week of coaching sessions

This week marked an important step in my development as a coach: I delivered my first coaching sessions. Although I had prepared carefully, there is something very different about moving from learning coaching theory to sitting in front of a real coachee and holding the space for their reflection.

Here is a short account using What? So what? Now what? model, originally developed by Borton (1970) and later adapted by Rolfe, Freshwater and Jasper (2001), of what the experience felt like, how I prepared, what I learned, and what I will take forward into my coaching practice.

What happened?

Before each session, I took time to prepare both practically and ethically. I sent each coachee a pre-session email with key information, including the coaching agreement, the initial self-assessment, the session impact form and access to the coachee portal on my coaching webpage. I also shared guidance on what to expect from coaching and encouraged each person to come with a few thoughts, even if they were not fully clear on their goal yet. This preparation felt important because coaching is not just about the conversation itself. It begins before the session, with creating clarity, safety and expectations.

At the start of each session, I revisited the contract. I explained confidentiality, safeguarding, boundaries, recording, cancellation, and the purpose of the forms. I also reminded coachees that my role was not to give advice, but to act as a thinking partner and help them find their own answers.

Across the sessions, different themes emerged. Some coachees wanted to explore career direction and uncertainty, whilst others focused on work-life balance, pressure, overthinking, cultural adjustment, workplace politics, setting boundaries or preparing for difficult conversations. Even though each session was different, a common thread was helping the coachee move from feeling overwhelmed or unclear into identifying small, practical next steps.

After each session, I sent a short summary email. This included the key takeaways from the conversation, any actions or reflections the coachee had identified, and a reminder to complete the coach impact form. This helped close the session properly and encouraged the coachee to continue reflecting afterwards.

So what did I learn?

The biggest learning for me was that coaching requires patience. As a new coach, there is a natural temptation to want the coachee to leave with a clear answer or a perfect action plan. However, I learned that progress in coaching can be much smaller and still be meaningful.

Sometimes the value was simply helping the coachee name what they were feeling, other times it was helping them realise they were making assumptions. Sometimes it was also giving them space to say something out loud for the first time.

I also learned how important contracting is. In one session, the coachee initially asked for advice and guidance. This gave me the opportunity to clarify the difference between coaching and mentoring. I explained that I would not be giving them the answers, but supporting them to find their own. This felt like an important moment because it protected the coaching space and helped us work with clearer expectations.

Another learning was around my use of questions. I noticed that when I asked shorter, clearer questions, the coachee had more space to think. When my questions became too long, I sometimes had to rephrase them, and this is something I want to improve. Good coaching questions do not need to be complicated. Often, the simplest question creates the deepest reflection.

I also became more aware of my own internal responses. In one session, the coachee described a workplace situation that I could personally relate to. I noticed the urge to share my own experience, but I knew this would move the focus away from the coachee. Instead, I stayed with their thinking. This was a useful reminder that coaching is not about me proving I understand, but it is about creating the conditions for the coachee to understand themselves more clearly.

What felt challenging?

One challenge was managing the balance between structure and flexibility. I used the GROW framework to guide the sessions, but I also wanted the conversation to feel natural. At times, I had to remind myself that the framework is there to support the coachee, not to control the conversation.

Another challenge was allowing silence. I know silence can be powerful, but as a new coach it can feel uncomfortable. I sometimes wanted to fill the space too quickly. Going forward, I want to become more comfortable with silence and trust that the coachee may still be processing.

With sessions being held remotely, technical issues also affected some sessions, with freezing or audio cutting out. This interrupted the flow at times, but it also helped me practise staying calm, checking understanding and not rushing the coachee.

Now what will I take forward?

This first week has given me confidence, but it has also shown me clear areas for development, such as:

• Make my contracting clear but more concise

• Ask shorter and more focused questions

• Allow more silence

• Avoid over-explaining

• Keep strengthening my non-directive approach

• Continue using post-session summaries to support reflection

• Review my recordings honestly so I can keep improving

  
  

Most importantly, I want to keep trusting the coaching process. I do not need to fix, advise or rescue. My role is to listen deeply, ask useful questions, notice patterns, gently challenge assumptions and support the coachee to find their own way forward.

My first week of coaching reminded me that people often already hold more insight than they realise. Sometimes they simply need the right space, the right questions and enough time to hear themselves think.

That is the kind of coach I want to keep becoming.

Written by YS