Closing Module 1: Becoming, not just learning

These past couple of months have not simply introduced me to coaching tools and theories. It has challenged how I think, how I listen, how I relate to others, and perhaps most importantly, how I relate to myself. Each week has added a layer of understanding, but also a layer of unlearning.

In my first week, the "Advice Monster" by Michael Bungay Stanier, has helped me recognise how naturally I move into problem-solving, offering solutions, and taking control. These behaviours may serve me well in management, but in coaching, it's a limitation. Coaching is about presence, curiosity, and restraint. It is about trusting that the other person is capable.

Learning to see myself clearly

As the weeks progressed, reflection became central to my development. Using models such as Schön’s reflection-in and on-action, Gibbs’ Reflective Cycle, and Brookfield’s Four Lenses, I began to look at my approach more intentionally. What I’ve learned is that growth does not happen automatically through experience, it happens through examining experience.

Inviting peers and friends to complete feedback through the Johari Window was particularly revealing. Through this process, my development has become more deliberate. My PDP is a working document that translates reflection into action, focusing on self-awareness, listening, questioning, and presence.

Grounding myself in ethics

Alongside developing skills and self-awareness, I have also been shaping my professional identity through ethical practice, by engaging with the Global Code of Ethics, the ICF Code, and the Professional Charter. I initially thought of them as rules but I now see them as foundations. These reinforce that being a coach is not just about skill, but about responsibility.

Ethics in coaching are what make the work safe, meaningful, and trustworthy. Concepts such as confidentiality, non-judgement, and boundaries are commitments I aim to embody through clear agreements, safeguarding awareness, and reflective practice. Ethical thinking has also challenged me to pause, to question my assumptions, and to act with intention rather than impulse.

The discipline of listening

If there is one area that has stretched me the most, it is communication, specifically, listening. I entered this module thinking communication was about expressing myself clearly, but what I have learned is that it is far more about understanding others deeply.

Active listening requires more than attention, it requires me to quiet my internal dialogue, suspend judgement, and resist the urge to respond too quickly. It also asks me to be fully present. Silence, in particular, has been confronting because my instinct is to fill it, to help, to move things forward. But silence is indeed where thinking happens, and when I interrupt that space, I may also interrupt insight.

This has required me a constant shift in mindset: from “I need to respond” to “I need to understand.”

Trust, challenge, and responsibility

As my understanding has deepened, I have also begun to appreciate the balance required in coaching relationships. Trust is built through consistent presence, respect, and equality. At the same time, coaching is not only about support: It also involves challenge.

Through exploring models such as GROW, I have come to see challenge as invitation. Questions that gently explore assumptions, beliefs, and perspectives can create powerful moments of awareness. As a coach, my role is not to provide answers, but to help others see more clearly, think more deeply, and take ownership of their actions, remembering that responsibility always remains with the coachee. When people find their own answers, change becomes more meaningful and sustainable.

Looking inward: My own interference

Throughout this module, I have not only applied these concepts to others, but also to myself. My own interference shows up in different ways: self-doubt, over-preparation, and a desire to prove myself. At times, I still find it difficult to trust the process, to sit with silence, or to challenge confidently.

But what has changed is my awareness. I can now notice these patterns as they arise, and in that awareness, there is choice.

What coaching means to me now

At the start of this journey, I saw coaching as a skillset, something to learn and apply. Now, I see it as a way of thinking and being. Coaching, to me, is a partnership built on trust, curiosity, and respect. It is about creating a safe space for others to think, not filling that space with my own ideas. It is about believing in someone’s capacity, even when they may not fully see it themselves. It is not about fixing but instead, about facilitating.

Moving forward

As I close Module 1, I am not stepping away with certainty yet, but I am moving forward with greater awareness, stronger foundations, and a willingness to keep learning. I trust that silence has value and that questions can be more powerful than answers. I am beginning to trust myself, not to have all the solutions, but to hold the space where solutions can emerge.

The focus now is to continue practising, reflecting, and developing with intention. This journey is not about becoming perfect but about becoming present.

Written by YS